Hi Friends & Family! Here is my latest blog with a little update on upcoming “intended” ministry and travel plans. Read until the end to find out.
Recently, a toddler that I nanny for formed a strong attachment to her diaper changing table. She’s at the point where she no longer needs diapers and has successfully transitioned to potty training. To her dismay, her mom decided to sell this diaper changing table. She was devastated over the loss of the diaper changing table and spent multiple days pleading with her mom to get it back from the family now in possession of it. Her mom explained that she no longer requires diapers and that the changing table had been given to a baby who did. She persists in begging for the changing table and claiming that she still needs it. Upon hearing this story, I couldn’t help but laugh. How funny that she is so insistent upon this changing table that she had clearly grown out of?!
And then it occurred to me….I do the same exact thing, just not with diaper changing tables. I cling to my plans with a death grip and insist that they happen. I can become so attached to a plan that I am blinded to the fact that a loving God goes before me and is actively in my situation, working for my good.
Directly before I left for the World Race, I wrote a blog describing the despair I was experiencing. At the time, I suffered weekly chronic migraines that would persist for multiple days at a time. I would lay in bed in excruciating pain, sometimes vomiting to experience momentary relief. It got to the point where it began to affect my mental health. I fought extreme apathy and the unrelenting thought that things would only digress. When I applied for the Race, I knew that the headaches would probably continue. They did.
My first month in Indonesia was grueling on the pain scale but I experienced God’s love for me in a way I never had before. I began fighting through my headaches with renewed hope. The apathy disappeared. Even if I didn’t receive healing, I knew my healer. In March 2020, Covid happened & the Race came to an abrupt halt. Everyone was sent home. My headaches persisted but seemed to lessen in severity. Some weeks I thought I was healing just to experience yet another debilitating migraine. One day, I decided to take action. I Google searched for migraines and found an excellently rated chiropractor in proximity to my location. In an attempt to cure the headaches, the team of chiropractors & physicians developed a plan. I would come in to get an adjustment & an hour long functional therapy session twice a week. It just so happened to fit perfectly within my work schedule. It hurt….Some days I came into therapy with a headache and forced myself to perform the exercises despite it. Nothing about it was glamorous or easy. It wasn’t where I pictured 23 year old Steph to be. It wasn’t the plan. It wasn’t going to eleven different countries in eleven months. It was struggling through a bunch of exercises just to, at times, experience another migraine the next day.
After 9 months of care, I began noticing a difference. I started supplementing my chiropractor work with functional yoga. I felt better, even stronger. In November, I got an adjustment from the Chiropractor. She said, “Keep doing whatever it is that you’re doing.” The migraines were less frequent and I could go for two weeks without experiencing one, sometimes even a month.
All along, God knew my story. It wasn’t my plan. I couldn’t have received the medical attention I needed on the Race. I couldn’t have learned the valuable lessons I learned from my many unglamorous visits to the chiropractor. In my suffering, I learned to rely on Christ. My compassion for others experiencing similar trials grew. Through Christ, I now know what it’s like to overcome what I thought formerly impossible. I am stronger, more resilient and I have a deeper appreciation for life. In my darkest moments, when I lose sight of hope, God’s loving hand is amidst my situation. He’s in yours too.
These are some truths that I hold onto in my darkest moments.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you.” 1 Peter 5:10
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
“Jesus looked at them and said, “ With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.” Isaiah 55:8
Update: .
I am leaving for Costa Rica tomorrow (Friday the 11th) with an organization called “Beauty for Ashes.” It’s the same ministry that I went to Guatemala with back in October of 2021! I am very excited to encourage Costa Rican women in their journeys and witness healing and breakthroughs in their lives. Please pray that my team and I would have insight as to how we can best serve these ladies. I would also love prayers for smooth travel. As most of you know, traveling has become rather complicated. In other news, I am now going to Africa (Eswatini and South Africa) during the months of June and July. Originally, I was going to Kyrgyzstan in the month of June but the trip was canceled due to a small number of people attending. Thank you so much for your continued prayers as the Lord directs my steps.
~Steph
