Hey friends & family,
I hope you’re having a wonderful Christmas season. Despite the fact that I currently possess very minimal motivation to write this blog, here I am anyway! If you follow my blogs, you’re most likely aware of the fact that the most recent post additions reflect my season on the Race. It’s a space that I’ve created to debrief, process and hopefully inspire.
As we enter into the holiday season, I think it’s imperative to create space for ourselves to “be.” The world is constantly screaming that we don’t measure up & that in order to get to a state of fulfillment, we must continuously strive. Our culture is heavily influenced by self embetterment. To an extent, striving is a foundational & necessary process but I think there is much to be said about setting aside time to be still, particularly when it’s done with intentionality. How do you feel when you’re in a room alone for 10-20 mins? Let’s just pretend there’s no access to external noise. You’re not scrolling through tik tok or watching the news. It’s just you, your thoughts and God. Even if you enjoy 10-20 mins of silence, it’s not long before most of us become uncomfortable and reach for the nearest distraction. Silence can be daunting. I know that prior to the Race, it was for me. I honestly didn’t see the issue with leading a continuously noise-filled life. The only thing hindering me from constant distraction was the occasional migraine. Begrudgingly, I’d cancel my plans and hope to fall asleep as soon as possible to avoid silence.
During the Race, I was encouraged out of my comfort zone in numerous ways, including long periods of silence. It wasn’t just existing in the silence but the intentional state & awareness of existing in the presence of God. Part of our ministry my second month of the Race was to attend a Malaysian international house of prayer several days and nights each week. At times, we prayed with other Malay believers or performed these high intensity “fire drills” where we all stood in line and one after the other ran to the front to proclaim scripture or something the Holy Spirit was revealing. It was unlike anything I had ever participated in. Haha! For the majority of the time, however, we sat quietly as we meditated, prayed, journaled and read scripture. There were several days each week where we practiced this for hours on end. At first, I didn’t know what to do. I would sit there and pray for maybe a minute or two. My mind would then drift down the street to the scent of fresh naan bread and tikka masala (Google if you don’t already know what this is. It will literally transform your life.) About halfway through our time at this ministry, I adapted to the lengthy hours spent quietly in the Lord’s presence. My mind was focused and I began actually comprehending the scripture I was reading. Unlike previous years where I read it out of what felt like routine, scripture became real and tangible to me. One day, as I was walking down the street, I began tearing up because I realized the transformation occurring in my spirit. Scripture wasn’t dead. It was quite alive & held the authority to change lives, even mine. Interestingly enough, during this time, I started hearing from the Lord. It wasn’t audible but appeared in the form of repeated scripture. I read it and then not too long after (a matter of days), it was confirmed to me from another source, sometimes multiple sources. These sources included friends, music and even dreams. It continued frequently several months after I came home and then slowly came to a cessation. I very rarely, if ever, experience His voice the way I did in that season. There’s so much more I could say here in regards to processing my current season but I’ll save that for a later date. Departing the mission field in 2020, I knew that God had put one thing on my heart so strongly and that was to facilitate a space here in Colorado Springs where people could experience His presence the way I did in that Malaysian house of prayer. For a while, I carried this out by way of prayer and worship nights where the only goal was to enter into His presence by way of stillness. I no longer host these prayer nights but I’ve found stillness & silence integral to my walk with God. I am incredibly thankful that my headaches no longer impede my life the way they did formerly. However, on the occasion that I do experience them, I remember the blessing that it actually is to slow down and practice stillness.
As you enter into 2023, I hope you too are able to find the space and courage to be still in His presence. You never know what breakthrough awaits.
Merry Christmas!!
Steph
P.S. In the month of January, I’ll be publishing one final debrief blog surrounding my time on the Race. If you’re hoping for more content, you’re in luck! Beginning the month of February, I plan on creating a blog focusing predominantly on holistic wellness, a subject I have become incredibly passionate about. I am so eager to begin this journey and hope you’ll join me. A link to that new blog site will be provided in the following blog post.
