It was like nails were being drilled deeper and deeper through my skull. The pain was severe and all too familiar. Another day, another migraine…I knew the drill; eat something light, take an Excedrin and find a place to suffer alone.
A couple years ago I was in a car wreck that really effected my neck alignment.I attended physical therapy multiple days a week for three months and made progress. However, starting around the same time as the wreck, I began having frequent headaches that were never entirely diagnosed or cured. It’s not unusual for me to experience two to three headaches each week that last anywhere from six to twenty-four hours. They can be anywhere from dull to debilitating in severity.
Anyways, I had found a quiet place to rest after several hours of fighting the migraine. It was continuing to progress in severity and I was exhausted. While I was laying there, I began daydreaming about the likelihood of someone coming into the room and offering to rub my temples..I kind of laughed at the thought of it because I knew the likelihood was next to nothing and I certainly was not going to ask. I continued laying there until the door to my room cracked open and in peered our ministry host. She took one look at me and asked, “how are you?” Mind you, it was her birthday and her siblings were there to visit. She entered the room, seated herself at the head of my mat and started massaging my temples. It was if she totally saw me in that moment…she was beaming. It was as if she actually wanted to be there with me even in my brokenness. What?! In her minimal English she said, “Jesus loves you. I love you. You want love others.” I lost it and started weeping. It was if the years of walls that I had constructed around my heart were being destroyed. Who knew that Jesus was going to meet me in Indonesia during one of my weakest moments?
The word “abundant” came to me. She may not have been considered abundant by the world’s standards. In my eyes, she had everything. Despite the minimal resources, cockroaches, rats and cold bucket showers, I met abundance last month. Abundance is more of a heart posture than a material status. Once you’ve met abundance, you begin to understand God’s heart. Once you let go of what you’ve been clinging to, Jesus will catch you and provide your every need.
For more information on my time in Indonesia, my teammate, Lauren Carpenter, has created a couple videos that I want to refer you to. One of them is a short interview explaining my heart behind embarking on this journey. She will be making films of my teammates and I throughout the year as a way to record how we’ve grown. These videos can be found on the left hand sidebar under “Meet my Team: Swirl Girls.” There will be an option to go directly to Lauren Carpenter’s blog. The Lord has really worked in incredible ways. Thank you for supporting me in this. I appreciate your thoughts and prayers. I am super close to my final fundraising goal of $19,200 dollars! Praise!! I’m only $700 away. Any amount will go to towards food, transportation and the rest of my basic needs for the remaining 10 months. Blessings
This is amazing, God is truly the author of our salvation and he provides in abundance! Remember the miracle of multiplying the fish and the bread? That’s what it made me think of! God is doing so many great things through you!! ??
I love Desy!! I love this moment, your writing and your heart :’)
What an amazing gift from God. I pray you return to this memory for years to come.
And the fact that you’re choosing to focus on the beautiful part of that experience (and not just the painful part) is super inspiring. Thanks for sharing.
“And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.” II Corinthians 9:8 So grateful you met His abundance in Indonesia! LOVE you, Mom